apologies made of sugar
by honestlydarkprincess
Summary: Because it's worked for anyone who has ever tried it, the Reader avoids Bucky because she has a crush on him. Unintentionally, she hurts him after making excuses not to talk and tries to make up for it with Starbucks and movies. [Bucky x Reader]


**_I've decided to split up the multifandom drabble collection into separate fics, it wasn't working the way I had it, so I'm reposting them on their own._**

 **Based off dialogue prompt: "Do you want me to want to move?"**

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Moving into what came to be the Avengers Tower was supposed to be a temporary thing. Just a place to live while you finished your graduate program. Your uni happened to only be a 10-minute walk from the tower so it seemed stupid to turn down such an amazing offer, even if you were a bit hesitant to be living with the Avengers.

You had known Tony for years, you'd worked for him as an intern at Stark Industries while you had been putting yourself through college those first few years. You hadn't actually expected to get as close to the man as you did. But he'd seen something in you that he liked and taken you under his wing. You two had been close ever since, eventually becoming like a niece to him. You considered him to be the closest thing to family that you had left, so it wasn't all that surprising when he offered you a room in the Tower, rent-free, to live at while you finished your program. You knew he hoped you would stay even after you finished but you didn't want to take advantage of his kindness and overstay your welcome.

What you hadn't expected, however, was for the rest of the avengers to move into the tower shortly after you did. You'd known that Bruce lived there, Tony having badgered him into moving in instead of going back and forth every day. Then one by one, the rest of the team trickled in.

You could see just how happy it made Tony to have everyone living in one place, like a family. And, even though it had taken some time, that's just what they eventually became to each other. A family. A rag-tag, messed up group of people all with difficult pasts who came together and let themselves care for one another.

You also hadn't expected for the Avengers to accept you as quickly as they did but soon enough, you came to think of them as family as well. You would always be closest with Tony but the Avengers gave you the family you'd longed for, the one you had wished for your entire life.

Steve and Thor were the protective, caring older brother types you had always wanted. You knew you could always go to them if you ever had a problem. Clint was someone you could joke with, play pranks with. And Natasha had become your best friend. Neither of you had had close female friends to share with and talk openly with before. You guys could gossip or you could sit in silence. It was nice.

You felt safe with all of them, didn't feel the need to fill the silence, any silence, like you usually did with other people. It was nice to have people you didn't have to be constantly on with.

The only one you couldn't figure out was Bucky.

He had arrived last. You'd been filled in by Tony on what the man had gone through with Hydra and you had read his file. It had simultaneously broken your heart and made you want to throw up as you read about the various ways Hydra has broken him, used him, and forced him to do despicable things for years.

It had taken a while for things between Tony and Bucky to work out. Tony had to work through the fact that he was now living with the man who had killed his parents, even though rationally he knew that it wasn't Bucky who did those things, rather the Winter Soldier. Even with that knowledge it was still difficult for him to immediately welcome the man with open arms.

But even while he had to work through his own feelings about the soldier, Tony had still put a roof over his head and poured resources into dismantling the programming of the Winter Soldier, allowing Bucky to have a serious chance at recovery.

"Hey, doll, whatcha thinkin' about?"

Bucky's voice interrupted your thoughts and you realized you were zoned out. Shaking yourself out of it, you closed the book you had been reading before and smiled at him.

"Nothing, just….nothing," You replied, watching as he opened the fridge and looked for something to eat.

Bucky looked back at you and raised an unconvinced brow. "Sure didn't seem like nothin'. You've been staring into space for a while, Y/N. What's on your mind?" He asked, settling on just a drink and grabbing one before shutting the fridge and pulling up a chair across from you at the table.

You tried to gather your jumbled up thoughts long enough to string together a sentence but it was hard, his presence always had such an effect on you. Normally you were calm and confident but there was something about Bucky that always made you feel small and shy, not necessarily in a bad way, though.

It was one of the reasons that you had a hard time being around him. It wasn't that you didn't like him, oh quite the opposite in fact. You had a huge crush on him but figured that staying away was the best decision. You couldn't be trusted to not make a fool of yourself whenever you were around him so staying away was the best you could think of to do. There was no way he'd ever feel the same way about you and you didn't want to make things awkward between the two of you by saying something, so you stayed away. The only thing was…it was hard to stay away from him. His whole being reeled you in, and made you want to get as close to him as possible.

"Come on, Y/N, you can talk to me," Bucky said lowly, reaching over to grasp one of your hands.

His touch sent a jolt of warmth through your body and you shivered. You squeezed his hand and gave him a soft smile. "Thanks, Buck. I know. I just, I can't talk right now, I have to get to class," You said, regret bubbling up when his face noticeably closed off, he knew that you didn't have class for another two hours.

"Okay, well, you know where to find me if you change your mind, doll." Bucky replied, giving you a smile you could see didn't reach his eyes completely.

Your heart squeezed painfully at the fact you had hurt him and you watched helplessly as he left the room, a disappointed slough in his bulky form, noticeable if you were as well versed in Bucky Barnes' body language as you were.

"Shit," You swore, bringing your hands up to grip painfully at your hair. Why did you always have to screw things up? You could have just made something up, you didn't have to blatantly lie to him.

You just couldn't help it, you panicked and blurted out the first thing you could think of.

Well, what was done was done and you'd just have to make it up to him later. You packed up your stuff and left the kitchen thinking of ways you could do just that.

oOoOoOoOo

On your way back from class, you stopped at Starbucks. All throughout class you hadn't been able to focus. You couldn't get Bucky's dejected expression out of your mind. You honestly hadn't mean to hurt him, it just seemed like every time you were near him you were putting your foot in your mouth.  
You had decided to stop at Starbucks and get him his favourite drink, a caramel frappuchino. Since he had discovered the sugary drink he had been obsessed and it always cheered him up. Hopefully today it would do the same.

The whole way home you were thinking of something to say to him when you saw him. You needed a way to explain earlier without giving away the fact you liked him. So far you had nothing.

Knowing that winging it was probably going to end up in an even bigger disaster but having no other plan, you found yourself at his door, knocking lightly.

"It's open." You heard him call from inside the apartment.

Moving his drink into your other hand, you opened the door, letting yourself in and locking the door behind you. "Hey, it's me," You called back, trying to keep the fact that you were nervous from being noticeable. "I come baring gifts."

Bucky looked up from his place lounging on the couch, putting his book down as you approached. You handed him his drink, chest warming at the way his eyes lit up upon seeing the caramel concoction with extra whip cream, just the way he liked it.

"What's this for?" He asked, brows raised even as he took a sip, humming happily at the flavour.

"I wanted to say sorry about earlier," You said, sitting down on the arm chair across from him and putting your books on the coffee table, shrugging out of your coat while you were at it.

Bucky looked down at this hands, playing with the condensation on his drink. "You don't have to apologize. You weren't in the mood to talk and I shouldn't have pushed. I should be the one apologizing."

"No, I was rude and I shouldn't have lied. I just, I couldn't really explain what was going on in my head and in trying to not say the wrong thing, I said the wrong thing." You said earnestly, wanting him to know that you were sorry and you regretted what had happened. In the grand scheme of things what happened wasn't even that big of a deal but you didn't want to ever be the reason Bucky was sad.

"Don't worry about it Y/N." Bucky said, taking another sip of his drink. With that you knew you were forgiven but you didn't really want to leave him yet. It worked against your plan to stay away from him as much as possible but right now, right now all you wanted was to be near him.

"Want to watch a movie?" You asked, biting your lip nervously. You hadn't actually asked him to hang out alone before.

"Sure," He replied, reaching for the remote and nodding his head towards the seat beside him on the couch.

Uh. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea. Oh well, too late to turn back now.

You sat beside him, unable to fully relax your tense shoulders but hoping that you'd get more comfortable once the movie was playing.

Bucky flicked through the choices on Netflix while you got comfortable and eventually you both decided on some shitty horror movie.

About twenty minutes into the film you realized the choice in movie had been a huge mistake. In the short time since the film had been playing you had already jumped twice and let what would have been a scream out had you not muffled it with your hand.

Bucky looked over at you and chuckled. "I thought you liked horror movies?"

"I do!" You protested. "I guess this one is just really scary. Normally they don't really bother me and it takes a lot to scare me."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," Bucky teased, unaware of the way his words made your cheeks warm and your chest flutter. Maybe this movie wasn't actually a bad choice.

About halfway through the film Bucky finally seemed to have enough of your constant flinching, pausing the movie. "You know we don't have to finish this if it's scaring you, right?"

"I'm not scared," You pouted, but your point was immediately disproved as the second Bucky unpaused the movie there was a jump scare and you shrieked, turning to hide your face in his shoulder.

You could feel him laughing but instead of pushing you away like you were expecting, instead Bucky wrapped an arm around you and manoeuvred you so you were practically sitting in his lap.

You pulled away slightly, not wanting to invade his space even more than you already were but he tightened his arms around you making you unable to move further.

"You— uh, you don't have to move if you don't want to," Bucky whispered, his voice soft and low compared to the screams coming from the TV.

You swallowed, heart pounding in your chest. This felt like a moment, like something was about to happen. "Do…do you want me to want to move?" You asked, taking a chance.

Bucky's palm came up to cup your cheek, moving your head so he could look in your eyes. You couldn't read the exact expression in his eyes but he seemed to find what he was looking for in yours because he said, "No. I want you to stay right here."

Warmth flooded your chest and you smiled.

"Then that's exactly what I'll do."

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 **this isn't beta read, heck it's not even proof read, so all mistakes are mine**

 **i wrote this to avoid thinking about my upcoming exam**

 **i hope it makes sense and you like it!**


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